Party People! Let's get it started in here. The census forms are coming out this week.

Sorry. Nah. Don't mean it. I guess I'm not in the festive mood sweeping the happy halls of government over this year's census.

Not even that $2.5 million Super Bowl commercial, intended to be a government noisemaker with colorful streamers, galvanized my giddiness. Aren't Super Bowl ads supposed to be funny? You know, real talkers that resonate around the water coolers for weeks on end?

Hmm. I didn't get that. Leave it to the government to flush on a flop that much money in a mere 30 seconds while, from the other side of its mouth, vilifying insurers and health care providers for spending money on lobbying for their cause, which is just another form of advertising the value of something.

But maybe I'll cheer up as the rest of the $340 million in advertising and marketing from the census washes over us, along with possible news coverage extorted from the media.

Oh, you didn't hear? Yeah, Don Coleman, CEO of Globalhue, an ad agency that controls a huge portion of census advertising in minority communities, put the shakedown on the print media. Here's how he worded the not-even-thinly-veiled threat in a letter:

"In lieu of free ad space, all papers must agree to running six articles (preferably during hiatus weeks) about the Census 2010 as well as two editorials. If paper does not agree to the added value stipulations, buy will be canceled immediately."

You think those six articles and editorials could include looks into the wastefulness or constitutionally questionable practices in which the census is immersed?

If you've not seen it, there's a great YouTube video showing Jerry Day of Matrix News Network questioning the constitutional aspects of the census. Here are some of the questions he posed to the Census Bureau to determine what empowers it to do some of what it does:

Is there any limit to invasion of privacy?

What is the Census Bureau's constitutional authority to collect information every year (instead of 10)?

Do current levels of data collection violate the Fourth Amendment?

How may we be penalized for maintaining our privacy?

By what constitutional authority does the Census Bureau threaten penalties for failure to provide personal information?

Are there any circumstances under which law enforcement or spy agencies can access census information?

Because information may be given to law enforcement, may individuals refuse to answer questions according to the Fifth Amendment?

Why has the Census Bureau decided to collect GPS coordinates for every home?

The Census Bureau refused to answer any of Day's questions.

The census, of course, is constitutionally mandated, unlike most of what government inflicts upon us. But it is mandated only to enumerate the population. Period.

Questions about the sanctity of the 2010 census arose before the first nose was counted. Remember U.S. Sen. Judd Gregg, R-NH, who President Obama tapped to be Secretary of Commerce for his vaunted financial ability? Gregg withdrew as suddenly as he was appointed because Obama intended to have the census director answer to the White House, as well as to the Commerce secretary.

Why would Obama want that?

Simple. Who does the counting, and how, matters. The census determines how many members are apportioned from each state to the U.S. House of Representatives. The political party in control is able to redraw congressional boundaries after each census, which always favor the party in power. If continuing to control with the aid of such contrivances, you get to determine where all that federal funding goes, which gets you re-elected.

Democrats largely like the idea of statistical sampling - not allowed under the Constitution - rather than physical head counts - as is required by the Constitution. Democrats say sampling would offset what they claim are traditional low counts in minority neighborhoods. Minorities overwhelmingly vote for Democrats. There is no rational basis to believe sampling would correct low counts only and not - arbitrarily, capriciously or deliberately -- inflate numbers. Who does the counting matters.

With all that said, I like Jerry Day's approach. When the census worker comes to my house, if I let him in at all, I may just respond, "Present."

Dan E. Way is editor of The Chapel Hill Herald. Send e-mail to dway@heraldsun.com or call 419-664.